Black & White – What in between?

Black & White – What in between?

Almost all my life, I lived with a black and white area. That gets really difficult at most times as we all are in grey zone.

When things go wrong, it’s much harder for me as compared with others.

I remembered my manager (passed away when he’s 50s or in his 50s) once shared with me. He said: “You make life so difficult for your subordinates but you make demand 10 times worse for yourself.” His name is Jasper. This was pretty painful for me. Not his words but more on the expectation I want for myself.

Living with very strong values, ethics and morals, this became my weakness.

I don’t accept in between and in order to let people see my point, I “demanded” a lot from myself. I forgot, I’m human like anyone else.

I’m very fortunate to meet people in my life to share some perspectives.

Lies vs encouragement: This was through an article I read. Sometimes, we need not keep telling ourselves to speak the truth. We can speak the truth, but be more tactful and considerate to others’ feelings. We encourage people (probably in our heart we feel otherwise), who really knows? With the right words and encouragement, things may evolve to a better situation. Why must we be so firm of the outcome we believe in? My personal experience tells me this.

Fake vs being polite: I’m known to people around me that I’m so authentic, to an extend a wise and close friend told me she feels there’s probably only 10 in the world. I told her it’s impossible as there’s billions of people! That’s really how genuine I am as a person. Another told me, I can tell anyone and everyone about what’s within, as long as they ask. I said, “I have nothing to hide. What is there to lose to speak the truth?”

My point is, through personal experience, I learn to be kinder with words. I learn to beat around the bush to get message deliver, to those I feel are more vulnerable. I learn to look at things at being encouraging and being polite, rather than telling lies or fake. Not easy though, since for the past 45 years I lived in a different way.

What I hope the insights people receive is, being kind and considerate; don’t be closed minded. Have empathy. We really never know what lies ahead of us. Be humble. Not that we are left with no choice or we conform to believe what benefit us.

It’s the internal cultivation. It will flow and come naturally, not that you feel you are resigned to have acceptance. I can say this because I experience it myself. Even though everyone is different, I’m just human, like anyone of you. I’m not any better or worse. I’m human.

Believe and you shall receive


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